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  • Writer's pictureVenki

Pathaan Movie Review - A Bloatware

Updated: Jan 29, 2023

I tend to skip writing my chotu reviews for films which i don't like, but this is an exception.

If Tom Cruise were to see this movie, two potential things can happen, first he will rename all his upcoming franchise MI films to Mission: Possible and Siddharth Anand & co will get a call to write and direct his 9th installment. Mr Christopher McQuarrie please watch out as the stakes are high here. The question i asked my self post 20-30 minutes into this movie was, am I in or am I out? and due to family pressure i had to opt for the former.

If you wanted to witness all things in one movie then you should not skip this. Bloated with gravity defying over the top action sequence , a load of age old patriotism, a fashionable wardrobes, over simplification and a new flying machines towards the climax, this is masala taken to next level. I am sure there is a reason for Salman to offer Crocin medicine (named as pain killer) to Khan. The directors vision is razor sharp, its almost like a prophecy. Its like kuch bhi chalega jab bhai jaans milenge tho. Logic, what the hell that even mean?. Which world are you living, you pay money for entertainment and here we gave you that plenty: left, right and center. People have been complaining that Bollywood is not doing well and here is the redemption we offer.

If you are thinking you will see only bikini shows then you are mistaken, as you will see people walking in slo-mo and flying in a helicopter wearing branded underwear. Why should gals have all the fun? Ghumenge phirenge naachenge gayenge fight karenge aur kya?

I have to tell you one thing for sure, the SRK presence is infectious and the saying is true for him "age is just a number". So if you are a hard core fan, then you are in for a La La Land mood. The fight scene involving Deepika was a total joke, with such a flexible body i would have expected her to lift the leg up-to opponents belly if not shoulder. Looks like the lift is good for 2 inch from ground setup to the max, which is evident from yet another copy cat song. The word copy is now synonym to Bollywood. Few folks were clapping at the interval scene, bhai kya punch hai, looks like dudes have not seen movies for a long time. If you can't predict all these from start then consider yourself as an amateur film watcher or aged less than 10.

There is nothing to mention about story, if you have seen the trailer then you got it. From Dubai to Spain to Russia the Indian macho Spy flies with vigor and turns around things in no time. Every 10th minute there is something new offered. The chase is on land, ice, air and it was on fire all time. The combat sequences involves guns, knives, grande and what not. From hummer to motorbikes to skiing the list is endless. Its like objects of desire for director, try and test all, something will click. The only scene which i laughed was when SRK said tu hai meri Karan in a ridiculous heist in Russia. With a loud BGM to complement the entire proceedings, this is what will be termed unfortunately as block buster and a perfect fan service movie. I am bored to see Rouge RAW agents and terrorists now.

Interestingly i came out emotionless after the movie which is a good thing. Bollywood please bring content worthy cinemas and stop remaking films too. My son told, kya papa hamara teen ghanta barbad kar diya and what i can say, mistakes do happen beta, mistakes do happen.

Verdict - 2/5(Kiss Me Goodbye)

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